My husband and I decided to do this documentary three weeks ago, putting one foot in front of the other, not knowing what will happen next. We just know we have a dream of owning a Christ-centered coffee house, with a ministry and outreach program to people like ourselves. People with a dream of owning a business, but with no way of getting there. We have dreams of some day providing seed money and resources to those people, and hopefully our journey will be a blessing to others who have to walk the path we have to walk, or to those who read about our journey and find encouragement in it.
Today is one such day where we can ask ourselves why we doubt YHWH and His ability to see people through trials. Wesley and I never heard an audible voice from YHWH saying our journey is His will. We can’t say for certain that we are doing His will. How can we when we aren’t certain what He wants? We are just trusting that by faith, we put our feet forward and He will direct our path. That’s all we know right now.
Still, faith is like having to step off the edge of a cliff and not know if there will be a ledge to catch you, or you will plunge to failure. We faced that cliff after Wesley lost his job. Our plan was for me to work on Kudzu Jungle, and Wesley to keep his job and we would live off of that income. One day before I was to venture out that direction, Wesley lost his job.
Panic set in. We wanted to abandon our plans and get jobs, and wait until some day came up again…you know the some day I’m talking about? It’s the day that never seems to get here, and several years down the road, you look at your dreams and wonder why they were never fulfilled. It’s because you didn’t go after the dream. Our approach to our dream is always by faith. We realize that. YHWH didn’t give us bucket loads of money and tell us to go out and build the coffee house. I wish He had done that, but He didn’t. I know why. I asked Him to teach me faith. How can I learn faith if I never walk the path that teaches it?
If one were to evaluate our checking account and our living conditions, one would think Wesley and I are horrible business people. I write a homestead blog and as of July 7th, we would lose that dream as well. I wrote a post titled “Two Eleven” that sums up what we face.
Today I had to fight fear. Do we walk in faith and keep going with Kudzu Jungle or do we say the journey is to scary and just go get jobs and forget the dream? I told YHWH I didn’t see His plan. How do we pay for a journey when we have just begun the documentary and do not have a source of income yet? Still, Wesley and I decided to continue with the dream, and if we fail, we fail. At least then we could stand before YHWH and say we went as far as we could with faith, in spite of our fears.
We found a printer today that will print our contest fliers and newspapers. By faith, we were just going to give the printer the last amount of money we have to print enough fliers for us to take around town and introduce our project. We didn’t know what would happen next. I set up our “Want to help?” campaign, because doing temporary work would be fun, and it would fund our documentary.
This is how YHWH came through for us. We got a phone call today because my sister needs temporary help with her company. We are going to make a road trip to Maryland and it will fund the next month of our documentary! Our journey of faith continues, and so does the Kudzu Jungle project. Perhaps when this temporary job is done, someone else can hire us, and the adventure continues. I am so excited to go on our first road trip!
Why do I doubt YHWH’s ability to direct our path? He promises He will, and yet walking in faith is so hard when you can’t see the next step. I hope during this journey, I will be able to close my eyes and not know what’s ahead of me, but be able to say “By faith, I trust You YHWH.”
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